CNY?

CNY?

it was alrite i guess...

full of surprises

heartstoppers to be exact

but, what am i to do?

i should get used to it 

life IS full surprises

its just how you look at those surprises

whether to accept or deny

and for my surprise

the heartstopper that daddy had brought with him

all the way from mauritius

i guess i have already accepted that

bit by tiny bit....

and now, 

i just can't wait to get back to school

i'd prefer STF prison ANYDAY

rather than staying at this place thats supposedly called 

HOME

but, it doesn't feel like home at all

i know,

i'm not appreciating the time with my family enough

many may say that i'm just making a big fuss out of nothing

that i'm being paranoid.

but, 

no one in the world would fully understand what i have to endure

they only think that i am the one to be blamed

i am the one who is acting against my mother

i am the one who always fight against her

and i can't blame them

that is their point of view

the point of view from people who know nothing about me

and i never hope for them to understand

coz, they have their own problems to cope with

which is the very reason why

i can't help it when people start to care bout me.

i don't want to be taken care of

coz, 

i don't want to be a burden to people

mummy has always said that i am a burden

the biggest burden in her life.

and that has brought to phobia in myself

i NEVER want to be a burden to others

ever.

and i will always help others with their problems for as much as i can

not because i'm a busybody or anything

but, 

because it helps me to forget my own worries

my own sorrow

helping people just washes everything that comes to my mind

all the hearbreaks and tears

and it makes me feel much better when i know that my friends

even my enemies

are freed from their problems

even if i am still strangled by my own

but, i don't mind 

i prefer it that way