decisions

decisions decisions decisions...

sometimes i fell like life is is slowly cascading over me

and it feels like i am being suffocated and submerged under all the problems

it seems like there is always a fork in the road for me

LEFT goes to nowhere
RIGHT goes to the end of the world
STRAIGHT will just lead to trouble
n there is no turning BACK

nevertheless, i know i have to go through it

i know it is the decision of my life

there are A LOT of pros and cons

but

hmmmm....

i'm not sure, i don't really know what to do

i don't really know who to pick

and more importantly

i don't really know how to go on

the 3 people who happen to be involved 
are the 3 people i care about the most
i am split apart and i have to choose

i love all 3 of them dearly

they all complete my life

if i follow 1, i will lose the other

for how long? 

i'm not sure

but i don't want to lose any1 of them

it'll literally kill me from the inside out

but

i have to think this through

i have to make the decision 

its 4 the rest of my life right?

ok, fine,

u say, 

I am so hoping that she will make a good decision 4 her life....

bukan untuk aku, untuk dya ..

but, don't you realise that you are a part of my life now?

ever since you added me at fb

hahaha,

i hope i will never forget 070810

a silly beginning to a hopeful fairytale come true

but,

i feel like just screaming my heart out right now!

the problem is,

 i'm not at stf

where i can just scream n shout all my probs kt hockey field

the hockey field that has been my place of refuge whenever i need it

nevertheless,
i will never forget the people who have helped me along the way

the people who have supported me through thick and thin

thnx 4 all the support you guys,

Siti Nabila Nizam

Ummu Qurratu'Aini Kamaruddin

Farah Dhaniah Abdul Hamid

and last but not least

Muhamad Hasri Syafiqi Yusri

suddenly, i just remembered that i have yet to tell k sha2

does that mean i'm more comfortable to talk to him rather than her?

the only reason i told him later on was because i didn't want to hurt him

and he was happy at the time i was about to tell him

but, just as the bomb was dropped on me

i had to drop the bomb on him

i still wonder what his reaction was when i told him

i felt that i had a cardiac arrest the second i was told

what ever it is,

i know i have to make a decision

i know its gonna hurt me

i know i'll have to endure it 

all the problems

all the pain

everything

but

i have made my decision

i hope it will be the best

but if it doesn't work out

after all my responsibilities that i am tied with now can be let go

i'll just leave

i'll take myself somewhere i want to be

somewhere that i can be myself

without people forcing me to do anything for them

i hope